Cough, splutter, is this thing on?
By guest, Mar 28 2017 07:23PM
Hello beautiful souls...
So, unlike the rest of the website here that will be kept hidden away until it is all complete I thought for fun as I have a little break from building this website that I would post my first ever blog post. By the time the website is live it could be months old but I thought it would be nice to have my first ever post written before the website itself even made it off my computer and into the wide-open world of the mighty web. At the end of 2015 I made my YouTube channel 'mandi see'. The channel was inspired by an urge to break free of the boxes I felt I was being crammed into and to allow myself to evolve as ungracefully and as unapologetically as I liked. However, true to fashion for the neurotic little shrew that I am I become fussy. Slowly over time it wasn't good enough to just post videos on my phone with a random video still as the thumbnail they had to have more professional looking thumbnails, they had to have better lighting and whoops! a professional camera was purchased! Oh, deary me. Still I get some nice photos.
Eventually all the changes I made on what was supposed to be a humble little project caught up to me and I began to feel lost, confused and not sure where I wanted to go from there. As a stationary fiend, I bought a bullet journal to help me find my way and must have started and torn out a good twenty pages before I settled into my new book. I tossed the stencil to the side and decided I didn't care if my writing wasn't in neat straight lines and just began writing from my heart. I have always found journaling to be such a powerful tool especially when I am transitioning into a new space. I love change but there is a scary period when one do closes and you haven't quite yet wedged the new door open where you just sort of stand still coming up with ideas.
Whilst journaling, and I feel the need to point out it was almost constantly, my little turquoise bullet journal replaced my lime green Filofax as a hand extension, I realised that not only was I not being unapologetically myself on my YouTube channel but I had once again gone from being more informal and personal to more formal and distant in the efforts to try and seem more professional. Yes, I agree it makes for nice shiny, studio lit videos but where am I in them? what part of me really shines through. It was then and there I decided that this website had to be made to replace my original and to show my appreciation to my journal all the photographs, backgrounds and artwork displayed with in the shop, borders and so on, on this website are of its pages.
I won't ramble too much for now as it's getting late and I have much more to do on my new little website.
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